Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Two old Jewish men...

Sid and Abe, 
are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day.

Sid asks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico ?"

Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."

When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"

The waiter says, "I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.
" He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says,
"No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews."

Abe isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?"

The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "Gringos" replies,
"I check once again, senor," and goes back into the kitchen.
The waiter returns and says,
"Senor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews."

"Are you certain?" Abe asks again. "I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"
"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter.
"All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Apple Jews,
but no Mexican Jews."

Monday, July 21, 2014

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Better than a Flu shot...

Miss Beatrice,
The church organist,
Was in her eighties
And had never been married. 
She was admired for her
sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor
came to call on her and she showed him 
into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a
seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond Organ,
the young minister noticed a cut glass
bowl sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled with water,
and in the water floated, 
of all things, a condom!

When she returned
With tea and scones,
they began to chat. 

The pastor
tried to stifle his curiosity
About the bowl of water 
and its strange floater, 
but soon it got the better of him 
and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said,
'I wonder if you would tell me about this?
Pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes,' she replied, 
'Isn't it  wonderful? 

I was walking
through the park a few
months ago and I found
this little package on the ground.
The directions said
To place it on the organ,
Keep it wet and that it would 
prevent the spread of disease. 

"Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

If you don't send this
To five GOOD friends right away
There will be five fewer people
smiling in the world.

Friday, July 18, 2014