Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop
: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible location.

Law of Probability
: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone
: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi
: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem
: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Law of Close Encounters
: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio mechanics
: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theater Rule
: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee
: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets
: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location
: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument
: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law
: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law
: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law
: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

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