Friday, January 27, 2012

Subject: Computer problems


Help Desk: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...


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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Help Desk: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Help Desk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on
my desk... Sorry....


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Help Desk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?


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Help Desk: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Help Desk: Would you click on start for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!


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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. 

Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. 

I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, 
but the computer still says it can't find it...


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Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Help Desk: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....................Thank you.

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Help Desk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.


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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Help Desk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Help Desk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: Okay.

Help Desk: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes.

Help Desk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. 

Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!


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Help Desk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, 

a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?


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A customer couldn't get on the Internet:

Help Desk: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Help Desk: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.


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Help Desk: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Help Desk: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.



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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer,but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!


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Help Desk: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Help Desk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?


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