Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary; alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter; and supply a new definition.

1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

 
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

 
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

 
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

 
5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

 
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

 
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

 
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

 
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

 
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

 
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

 
12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.    (I personally would not know about this one......)

 
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.  (I know these folks)

 
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

 
15. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

 
16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 a.m. and cannot be cast out.

 
17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


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