Monday, January 14, 2013

Why California is broke and Texas is not


CALIFORNIA

The Governor of California, Jerry "moonbeam" Brown, is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.


1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi," and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is  natural.


2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $1,700 testing it for diseases and $3,500 for relocating it.


3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $1,900 testing it for diseases.


4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $6,500 getting
checked for diseases from the coyote and getting his bite wound bandaged.


5. The running trail is shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $350,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.


6. The Governor spends $2,250,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.


7. The State Legislature spends $11 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.


8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $550,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes.


9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $50 million suit against the State.




 TEXAS:

The Governor of Texas Rick Perry is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.


1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent 25¢ on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.


2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.


And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.



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