Friday, May 31, 2013

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Dominant Wives


When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."


Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.


The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.


God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."


God turned to the one man,
 "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, 

"My wife told me to stand here.


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

WOW, LOVED THESE HANDY TIPS!

Use a post-it note to catch drilling debris.

Marshmallows can cure a sore throat. Perfect for kids who don't like medicine.

If you place a wooden spoon over a pot of boiling water, it won't boil over!

You can flip a toaster on its side and grill cheese in it.

Use a comb to keep a nail steady for hammering.

Use a micro-fibre cloth to prevent frost from forming on the windshield.

How to keep the straw from rising out of your fizzy drink can.

Use a staple remover to save your fingernails when trying to add things to your key ring!

Place a rubber band around an open paint can to wipe your brush on,
and keep paint off the side of the can

Use a (clean) dustpan to fill a container that doesn't fit in the sink.


Add a teaspoon of water when frying minced beef.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.

Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil.
It will stay fresh much longer and not mould

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Remember, as we approach another Memorial Day, OLD men like him gave you, and all of us, FREEDOM for America .



As I came out of the supermarket that sunny day, pushing my

cart of groceries towards my car, I saw an old man with the

hood of his car up and a lady sitting inside the car, with the

door open. The old man was looking at the engine. I put my

groceries away in my car, and continued to watch the old

gentleman from about twenty five feet away.





I saw a young man in his early twenties with a grocery bag in

his arm walking towards the old man. The old gentleman saw

him coming too, and took a few steps towards him.





I saw the old gentleman point to his open hood and say something.

The young man put his grocery bag into what looked like a brand

new Cadillac Escalade. He then turned back to the old man. I

heard him yell at the old gentleman saying:'You shouldn't even

be allowed to drive a car at your age.' And then with a wave of his

hand, he got in his car and peeled rubber out of the parking lot.





I saw the old gentleman pull out his handkerchief, and mop his brow

as he went back to his car and again looked at the engine.  He then

went to his wife and spoke with her; he appeared to tell her it would

be okay. I had seen enough, and I approached the old man. He saw

me coming and stood straight, and as I got near him I said, 'Looks

like you're having a problem.'





He smiled sheepishly, and quietly nodded his head.  I looked under

the hood myself, and knew that whatever the problem was, it was

beyond me. Looking around, I saw a gas station up the road, and

I told the old man that I would be right back.  I drove to the station

and went inside. I saw three attendants working on cars. I approached

one of them, and related the problem the old man had with his car.

I offered to pay them if they could follow me back down and help him.




The old man had pushed the heavy car under the shade of a tree and

appeared to be comforting his wife. When he saw us he straightened

up and thanked me for my help. As the mechanics diagnosed the

problem (overheated engine), I spoke with the old gentleman.





When I shook hands with him earlier, he had noticed my Marine

Corps ring and had commented about it, telling me that he had been

a Marine too. I nodded and asked the usual question, 'What outfit

did you serve with?'





He said that he served with the first Marine Division at Guadalcanal ,

Pelieliu, and Okinawa .  He had hit three of the worst ones, and retired

from the Corps after the war was over. As we talked we heard the car

engine come on and saw the mechanics lower the hood. They came

over to us as the old man reached for his wallet, but was stopped by

me. I told him I would just put the bill on my AAA card.





He still reached for the wallet and handed me a card that I assumed

had his name and address on it, and I stuck it in my pocket. We all

shook hands all around again, and I said my goodbye's to his wife.





I then told the two mechanics that I would follow them back up to the station. Once at the station, I told them that they had interrupted their own jobs to come along with me and help the old man. I said I wanted to pay for the help, but they refused to charge me. One of them pulled out a card from his pocket, looking exactly like the card the old man had given to me. Both of the men told me then that they were Marine Corps Reserves. Once again we shook hands all around and as I was leaving, one of them told me I should look at the card the old man had given to me. I said I would and drove off.





For some reason I had gone about two blocks, when I pulled over 

and took the card out of my pocket and looked at it for a long, long time.

The name of the old gentleman was on the card in golden leaf and

under his name was written: 'Congressional Medal of Honor Society.' I sat there motionless, looking at the card and reading it over and over.

I looked up from the card and smiled to no one but myself and marveled

that on this day, four Marines had all come together because one of us needed help. He was an old man all right, but it felt good to have stood next to greatness and courage, and an honor to have been in his presence.





Remember, as we approach another Memorial Day, OLD men like

him gave you, and all of us, FREEDOM for America .





Thanks to those who served and still serve, and to all of those who

supported them, and who continue to support them.

America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the

Mall.





If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in

front of them! Remember, Freedom isn't Free. Thousands have paid

the price, so that you can enjoy what you have today.

 

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Just a Frozen Lemon



Many professionals in restaurants and eateries are using or consuming the entire lemon and nothing is wasted.


How can you use the whole lemon without waste? Simple.. place the washed lemon in the freezer section of your refrigerator. Once the lemon is frozen, get your grater, and shred the whole lemon (no need to peel it) and sprinkle it on top of your foods.


Sprinkle it to your vegetable salad, ice cream, soup, cereals, noodles, spaghetti sauce, rice, sushi, fish dishes, whisky, wine.... the list is endless.


All of the foods will unexpectedly have a wonderful taste, something that you may have never tasted before.


Most likely, you only think of lemon juice and vitamin C. Not anymore. Now that you've learned this lemon secret, you can use lemon even in instant cup noodles.


What's the major advantage of using the whole lemon other than preventing waste and adding new taste to your dishes?


Well, you see lemon peels contain as much as 5 to 10 times more vitamins than the lemon juice itself.  And yes, that's what you've been wasting.


But from now on, by following this simple procedure of freezing the whole lemon, then grating it on top of your dishes, you can consume all of those nutrients and get even healthier.


It's also good that lemon peels are health rejuvenators in eradicating toxic elements in the body. So place your washed lemon in your freezer, and then grate it on your meal every day. It is a key to make your foods tastier and you get to live healthier and longer! That's the lemon secret! Better late than never, right? The surprising benefits of lemon!


Lemon (Citrus) is a miraculous product to kill cancer cells. It is 10,000 times stronger than chemotherapy.


Why do we not know about that? Because there are laboratories interested in making a synthetic version that will bring them huge profits.


You can now help a friend in need by letting him/her know that lemon juice is beneficial in preventing the disease. Its taste is pleasant and it does not produce the horrific effects of chemotherapy.


How many people will die while this closely guarded secret is kept, so as not to jeopardize the beneficial multimillionaires large corporations?


As you know, the lemon tree is known for its varieties of lemons and limes. You can eat the fruit in different ways: you can eat the pulp, juice press, prepare drinks, sorbets, pastries, etc... It is credited with many virtues, but the most interesting is the effect it produces on cysts and tumors.


This plant is a proven remedy against cancers of all types. Some say it is very useful in all variants of cancer. It is considered also as an anti microbial spectrum against bacterial infections and fungi, effective against internal parasites and worms, it regulates blood pressure which is too high and an antidepressant, combats stress and nervous disorders.


The source of this information is fascinating: it comes from one of the largest drug manufacturers in the world, says that after more than 20 laboratory tests since 1970, the extracts revealed that It destroys the malignant cells in 12 cancers, including colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreas...


The compounds of this tree showed 10,000 times better than the product Adriamycin, a drug normally used chemotherapeutic in the world, slowing the growth of cancer cells.  And what is even more astonishing: this type of therapy with lemon extract only destroys malignant cancer cells and it does not affect healthy cells.


So, give those lemons a good wash, 

freeze them and grate them. 

Your whole body will love you for it!!!!!

according to snopes, some is true, some isn't???

Friday, May 24, 2013

Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife


1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.


2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.


3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.


4. A dog's parents never visit.


5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.


6. Dogs find you amusing when you're DRUNK.


7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.


8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"


9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.


10. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.


11. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.


And last... but not least:


12. If a dog leaves, it won't take ALL of your stuff.


To test this theory...
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour...
Then open it and see who's happy to see you...


 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Top 10 weird foreign laws

Ignorance may be bliss, but it can cause innocents abroad to unknowingly run afoul of local laws.


And there are plenty of legal oddities to run afoul of. Witness this list of top 10 unusual foreign laws compiled by GlobalVisas.com.


No word on how often these ordinances are actually enforced, but consider yourself warned.


It is illegal to:

1. Feed pigeons in St. Mark's Square in Venice, Italy. The practice was outlawed in 2008, much to the dismay of seed vendors there, because the historical buildings (and many sightseers) were bearing the brunt of the byproduct.


2. Run out of gas in Germany. More precisely, it's verboten to stop on the nation's fast-paced autobahns, where German motorists tend to get all Fahrvergnugen behind the wheel.


3. Drive while wearing flip-flops in Spain. It's also illegal to drive with groceries on the back seat of a convertible. Best to stay on your toes no matter what's on your feet.


4. Spit in public in Barcelona. Not a bad call, and one a few more cities might want to consider.


5. Wear high heels at Greek archaeological sites such as the Acropolis. Pointy heels pierce the delicate "skin" of these antiquities, officials determined in 2008 when they first sought the ban. Indeed, stilettos can transmit more pressure per square inch than an elephant, experts say.


6. Drive in Scandinavia during daylight without headlights switched on. The reasoning behind the law is sound: Daylight hours are limited during long northern winters.


7. Chew gum in Singapore. The government instituted the ban in 1992 in response to sticky wads gumming up the subway system and other public spots. It has resisted occasional calls to revoke the ban, though medically therapeutic gum is OK.


8. Eat during Ramadan in the United Arab Emirates. Muslims abstain from food and drink between sunrise and sunset during the month of Ramadan. And non-believers are expected to follow suit. Same goes for Saudi Arabia, where offending foreigners can get their visas canceled for the infraction.


9. Step on currency in Thailand. Thai baht bear the picture of the King of Thailand.  Defaming, insulting or threatening the royal family is illegal — and so is stepping on paper currency.


10. Pee in the ocean in Portugal. No word on whether anyone has ever actually gotten busted for this. 



Wednesday, May 22, 2013

New gadget can recharge a cell phone in 30 seconds




Your dead battery will be gone in 60 seconds.

A new device can fit inside a cell phone’s battery and recharge it fully in less than half a minute. Is it the latest from Duracell or Energizer? The brainchild of a startup with $20 million in the bank? Nope. This mind-boggling invention came from the mind of an 18 year old.

Eesha Khare of Saratoga, Calif., took home the Intel Foundation Young Scientist Award Friday in Phoenix as part of the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair, and a $50,000 prize. Her gizmo could fill the crucial need for energy-efficient storage devices and may have potential applications for car batteries.

First prize in the festival went to Ionut Budisteanu, 19, of Romania who won for using artificial intelligence to create a viable model for a low-cost, self-driving car. Could it some day rival Google’s self-driving car tech?

Henry Lin, 17, of Shreveport, La. also received the Intel Foundation Young Scientist Award for simulating thousands of clusters of galaxies. Lin provided scientists with valuable new data, allowing them to better understand the mysteries of astrophysics: dark matter, dark energy and the balance of heating and cooling in the universe's most massive objects, the company said.

“We support the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair because we believe that science and math are the foundation of innovation, which is imperative for global economic growth and advancing society,” said Wendy Hawkins, executive director of the Intel Foundation.

“This competition encourages millions of students worldwide every year to explore their passion for math and science while developing solutions for global challenges.”

This year, approximately 1,600 young scientists were chosen to compete in the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair. They were selected from 433 affiliate fairs in more than 70 countries, regions and territories.



Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Best duct tape story ever...

During a private fly-in fishing excursion into the
Alaskan wilderness, the chartered pilot and fishermen
left a cooler with bait in the plane. And a bear smelled it. 
This is what it did to the plane...































The pilot used his radio and had another pilot
bring him two new tires, three cases of duct tape,
and a supply of sheet plastic. He then patched
the plane together, and FLEW IT HOME!





























Duct tape -------- 
Never leave home without it...








Monday, May 20, 2013

Did you lose a parrot?

I found a stray parrot on my porch this morning.

All he says is, "Good morning, you old fart."






































I thought he might be yours.. ??





Sunday, May 19, 2013

FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING

First, you come to the garden alone,
while the dew is still on the roses.

PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS :
1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul



PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:
1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness


PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE:
1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce be patient
4. Lettuce really love one another


NO GARDEN IS WITHOUT TURNIPS:
1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another


TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN YOU MUST HAVE THYME:
1. Thyme for God
2. Thyme for each other
3. Thyme for family
4. Thyme for friends



WATER FREELY WITH PATIENCE AND CULTIVATE WITH LOVE. THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR GARDEN BECAUSE YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW. NOT BAD, HUH?!



My instructions were to send this to people that 

I wanted God to bless and I picked you!

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Odd tricks people who lived past 100 swear by...

Misao Okawa, 115, says the secret to a long life is to “watch out for one’s health.” Other centenarians credit …We may be obsessed with looking younger, but we're in awe of the people who live to see their 100th birthdays and beyond. To what do these centenarians attribute their long, long lives? The answers may surprise you.


Bacon
Pearl Cantrell, 105, attributes her long and healthy life to bacon. "I love bacon, I eat it everyday," she told NBC affiliate KRBC. "I don't feel as old as I am, that's all I can say." Cantrell, who lives in central Texas and has outlived three of her seven children, spent her life doing hard labor outdoors; she still sews, goes to church, and goes out dancing on Saturday nights. ("It was country dancing, waltzing, and two stepping," she says.) Her most-recent birthday was a three-day-long celebration with more than 200 guests. Bacon, however, is what really kept her going; Oscar Meyer recently sent her a delivery of the smoked-and-cured meat, and she ended up riding around town in the iconic Weinermobile.


Olive oil, port, and chocolate
Jeanne Calment, who died in 1997 at age 122, never let her age get in the way of doing whatever she wanted. She took up fencing at 85, rode her bike until she was 100, and didn't even quit smoking until she was 117, The New York Times reported. When she turned 121, she reportedly walked all over her hometown of Arles, France, to thank the people who had wished her well. But staying active and lighting up weren't the things she says kept her young; she gives credit to olive oil, which she poured on her food and used on her skin, drinking port wine, and eating about two pounds of chocolate every week. "I've never had but one wrinkle," she used to tell her friends, "and I'm sitting on it."


Stress
Helen Reichert, 109, chalks her advanced age up to stress — or, rather, on knowing how to bounce back from it. "You don't get to be 109 without life hurling a few curve balls at you, and Reichert has had more than her share. And after each, she dusts herself off and moves on," her doctor, Dr. Mark Lachs, told NPR in 2011. "A few years back, she had a modest stroke that affected her language abilities. I don't think I've seen a patient of any age tackle rehabilitation and speech therapy the way she did." She also knows how to indulge: She eats chocolate truffles, and her favorite beverage is Budweiser. "She once announced to me that she was thinking about smoking again," Lachs said. "When I protested, she reminded me that she has outlived several other physicians and told me to mind my own business."


Extreme sports
Peggy McAlpine, 105, became the oldest woman to paraglide in 2007, when she was 99 years old. When a 101-year-old from Utah broke her record, she took to the skies again at 104, leaping off of a 2,400-foot peak in northern Cyprus, where she lives — and she didn't let the fact that she's in a wheelchair stop her. "I enjoyed every minute of it. It was better than the last time," she told the Daily Mail in 2012. "I would certainly like to do it again — especially if anyone takes my record." She said that she has "loved heights" ever since she was a young girl, and caught the extreme sports bug when she was 80, after her grandchildren persuaded her to try bungee jumping. "I climbed to the top and looked down and saw the people like ants and my heart sank," she remembered. "But I'd gone so far, I couldn't stop. So I stepped on the platform and drew up my courage and leaped from the top."


Eating the same thing every day
Emiliano Mercado Del Toro, 115, credits a daily diet of funche — a stew made of boiled corn, codfish, and cream — for his long and healthy life, though he admits that having a keen sense of humor may also have had something to do with it. He loves to tell jokes and stories, and says that he was at a nightclub in Puerto Rico when the owner was assassinated. The then 82-year-old hid under a table "praying… or at least I was when the bullets started flying!"


Doing what you love
Dr. Laila Denmark, 114, didn't like to talk about her age. She was a doctor in Atlanta for 73 years, retiring at 103 only because she couldn't see as well as she used to, her daughter, Mary Denmark Hutcherson, told the Atlanta Journal Constitution. The first female pediatrician in Georgia, Denmark — a mother of five — said that her secret to longevity wasn't that complicated. “You keep on doing what you do best as long as you can,” she told her local newspaper in 2006, five years after she retired. “I enjoyed every minute of it for more than 70 years. If I could live it over again, I'd do exactly the same thing and marry the same man.”


Do what you want and eat what you want (and don't exercise). Vivian Henschke, 109, smoked for most of her life, had two cocktails before dinner nearly every night, and ate whatever she wanted, according to her daughter, Karen Preston. "Mother did nothing by today's standards to help her have great longevity," Preston told Everydayhealth.com, adding that Henschke also "never exercised a day in her life." She enjoyed dancing, but told her local newspaper that it wasn't part of her secret to longevity. "No," she explained. "I married a man who didn't dance." Instead, she says she lived to a ripe old age because she "did what ever I wanted …. when I go to a party, I am going to have a highball."


Have a hobby
Louis Charpentier, 100, worked as a landscaper and has always exercised, but he attributes his long life to staying active in his community — and to maintaining the 265 Christmas-themed foam carvings in his yard. Wood and foam carvings are his hobby, and he works on them every day. To live a long life, "keep busy doing what you like," he suggests. And don't go crazy at dinner. "I don’t eat very much," he admits, "but I always eat a fruit, a vegetable, and a little meat, and I always make sure that I get sardines and salmon at least once or twice a week."


Drink Scotch
Lille Magette, 101, once led a group of U.S. Army nurses who landed on Utah Beach just after the Normandy invasion, working to care for wounded soldiers during World War II. She says that her love of knowledge, travel, and fitness keeps her young. Anything else? "A little scotch," she admits. Satisfaction also plays a part. “I’ve seen the world and I’ve traveled extensively," she said on her 100th birthday. "I've had a beautiful life, and I love everyone."


Be curious about life
Irving Kahn, 107, is the world's oldest stockbroker, starting on Wall Street in 1928. "This was before the Depression," he told New York Magazine in 2011. He says he's never had a life-threatening illness, doesn't take cholesterol or blood-pressure medicine, and maintains a positive attitude people half his age would envy. "I don't worry about dying," he said. Instead, he reads three newspapers a day and watches C-Span to keep his mind sharp. He's read thousands of books, all of them non-fiction — "Mostly I'm interested in what's on the edges: solar energy, sending vehicles beyond the moon," he says — and is determined to stay curious about life. “If you’re alive, you might yet find the answer to something,” he explained. “The puzzle you couldn’t solve before. The capacity to enjoy learning is what matters.”


 

Friday, May 17, 2013

The world's largest army... America 's hunters!

A blogger added up the deer license sales in just a
handful of states and arrived at a striking conclusion:


 

There were over 600,000 hunters
this season in the state of Wisconsin ..
Allow me to restate that number:
600,000

Over the last several months,
Wisconsin's hunters became 
the eighth largest army in the world.

More men under arms than in Iran .

More than France and Germany combined.


These men deployed to the woods of a single American state,
Wisconsin , to hunt with firearms, and no one was killed.


That number pales in comparison to the 750,000 
who hunted the woods of Pennsylvania and
Michigan's 700,000 hunters,
all of whom have now returned home safely.
Toss in a quarter million hunters
in West Virginia and it literally establishes the fact 
that the hunters of those four states alone
would comprise the largest army in the world.
And then add in the total number 
 of hunters in the other 46 states.
It's millions more.


The point?


America will forever be safe
from foreign invasion with that
kind of home-grown firepower.




Hunting...
it's not just a way to fill the freezer. 
It's a matter of national security.


 
That's why all enemies,
foreign and domestic,
want to see us
disarmed.

Food for thought,
when next we consider gun control.


Overall it's true,
so if we disregard some assumptions that hunters
don't possess the same skills as soldiers, 
the question would still remain...
What army of 2 million would want to face 
30, 40, 50 million armed and angry citizens???

(IF YOU AGREE, AS I DO, PASS IT ON, I FEEL GOOD THAT I HAVE AN ARMY OF MILLIONS WHO WOULD PROTECT OUR LAND AND I SURE DON'T WANT THE GOVERNMENT TAKING CONTROL OF THE POSSESSION OF FIREARMS)


For the sake of our freedom,
don't ever allow gun control
or confiscation of guns.