Friday, March 14, 2014

Cemetery Humor

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. And, one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries. Some fascinating comments seen on old tombstones! ENJOY!

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942. 

Looked up the elevator shaft
to see if the car was on the way down.
It was. 

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: 

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up 
and no place to go. 

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in
East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: 

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the good die young. 

In a London , England cemetery: 

Here lies Ann Mann,
who lived an old maid 
but died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767 

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: 

Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. 

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: 

Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon him for not rising. 

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: 

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake, Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. 

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: 

Here lays The Kid, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw. 

A lawyer's epitaph in England: 

Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange. 

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: 

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny. 

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: 

On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune. 

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: 

Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. 

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: 

Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod, Pease shelled out and went to God. 

In a cemetery in England: 

Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me. 

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: 

To follow you I'll not consent, Until I know which way you went. 

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