Thursday, July 2, 2015

Things You WON'T Hear A Texan Say . . .

~*~I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex

~*~Duct tape won't fix that.

~*~Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

~*~We don't keep firearms in this house.

~*~When I retire, I  am moving north.
~*~You can't feed that to the dog.

~*~I thought Graceland was tacky.

~*~No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

~*~Wrasslin's fake.

~*~Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

~*~Do you think my gut is too big?

~*~I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

~*~Honey, we don't need another dog.

~*~Who's Richard Petty?

~*~Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

~*~Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

~*~Spittin' is such a nasty habit.

~*~I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

~*~Trim the fat off that thar steak.

~*~Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

~*~The tires on that truck are too big.

~*~I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

~*~I've got it all on the C drive.

~*~Unsweetened tea tastes better.

~*~Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

~*~My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

~*~Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.


~*~She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

~*~Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

~*~I don't have a favorite college team.

*~Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

~*~Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.


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